“No matter what happens to us, we always have freedom of choice. We can select joy over despair, love over hate, forgiveness over revenge, and growth over stagnation. A crisis can evoke the best in us or the worst. The choice is ours! There is something to learn from pain as well as joy. We experience the sun shining where we are, but we know when it’s not shining on us, it is still shining somewhere.

There are times when our world is changing and we dearly wish it would not.  Do not fight the circumstances in our lives. Spirit is within and around us always. Bring the best to any difficulty and find we do not have to cry over the crisis. We have a choice.”*

*Science of Mind May 2011

Often when we think of care giving, we think of one person doing the giving and the “patient” doing all of the taking. Actually this is not healthy for either people. The one who is doing all of the giving feels overwhelmed and unappreciated. The person being cared for feels guilty for putting their spouse or child through the experience. They feel the loss of their independence and self-esteem. There is a better way.

CARE GIVER, CARE PARTNER, CARE SHARER.

Whether you are caring for a parent, a spouse or a friend, there are new ways to describe yourself. These new terms can help you to see, that in reality one person does not give while the other takes. Together you are a team, each playing your role. In the book titled Learning To Speak Alzheimer’s, the author Ms. Koenig Coste says, “We are care partners together seeking creative solutions to the challenges we face.” See how many creative solutions you can discover, and I guarantee you will find beautiful gifts in the experience.  “As a Care Partner I am the love of God in action.”

In an interview with Paul Bradshaw, Rick Warren author of The Purpose Driven Life, said, “Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one.  The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.”

As a caregiver it is hard sometimes to see any good in the experience.  But I have learned lessons and grown during my nine years of caring.  I have developed character and patience during this tough challenge.  Rick Warren has experienced it first hand as well, as his wife has battled cancer.

What is the purpose of life?  Here is my personal answer; “The meaning of life is finding your gift.  The purpose of life is giving it away.” 

Touch of JOY

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will ot be.

The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the bgest of everything they have.

“Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.”   Anonymous internet quote

Touch of JOY

In almost every circumstance we go through a series of steps when we notice a change in ourselves, or our loved one.  First is

SUSPISION then, 

DENIAL

DIGONOSIS

SEARCH for answer or cure

ACCEPT reality, there is no cure

INFORM others

COMMUNICATE – ways to community with family, friends, doctors

SUPPORT TEAM learn to ASK and DELEGATE

BE PREPARED in advance

BECOME A STRONG ADVOCATE

LEARN TO COPE – crash tactics

LIVE IN THE MOMENT

PRACTICE SELF CARE  

FIND THE GIFTS in the experience

BE GRATEFUL – write a list

Find more information on each of these topics by visiting http://www.joygolliver.com and sign up for our newsletter.

Did you see Chico’s latest catalog?  In it they announced the winner of their Top Dog contest, and the winner is …. Jacqueline Pipta and Sam.  “Sam taught me to live more in the moment.  His truths:  if you are hungry, eat; if your are bored, change activities; are tired, sleep; are happy, smile and wag.  When you feel love, kiss and hug; feel angry speak up; feel lethargic change acitivities.  working with him showed me when anger or fear are present, face it with courage.  And, finally a commitment to yourself and to others must be acted upon.”

These are lessons for everyone, especially caregivers.  Live in the moment, for really, that’s all there is.

Touch of JOY