“No matter what happens to us, we always have freedom of choice. We can select joy over despair, love over hate, forgiveness over revenge, and growth over stagnation. A crisis can evoke the best in us or the worst. The choice is ours! There is something to learn from pain as well as joy. We experience the sun shining where we are, but we know when it’s not shining on us, it is still shining somewhere.

There are times when our world is changing and we dearly wish it would not.  Do not fight the circumstances in our lives. Spirit is within and around us always. Bring the best to any difficulty and find we do not have to cry over the crisis. We have a choice.”*

*Science of Mind May 2011

“And God said come to the edge.” “I can’t, I’m afraid.” “Come to the edge.” “I can’t, I’ll fall.” “Come to the edge.” “I went to the edge and God pushed me…..and I flew.” …Apollinaire

“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.”

~Guillaume Apollinaire

Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.

This is such a good description of the caregivers strength and courage.

While reading an article by Eugene D. Holden with this title, I thought, what a message for caregivers and their loved one!  We frequently find ourselves in this predicament.    One or the other of us is angry or crying.  We both want to uplift the other.  Elbert Hubbard said, “If I can uplift or inspire, let it be by example, inference, and suggestion.” 

To move from one to the other, we need to choose to change!  Nothing changes if nothing changes.  We need to take action steps to make our upside down world better. 

Check out the new booklet – Self Care for Caregivers: 161 Tips to Make Your Life Easier,  by going to http://www.JoyGolliver .com.  Choose any tip that makes sense to you and take ACTION. 

In caring, Joy

Do you love to collect quotes?  I do.  Today I share some of my favorites.  Cut them out; paste them on your mirror or in your journal. 

“You can love other people only to the degree that you’ve come to love and accept yourself.”  Shakti Gawain

“Work as if you don’t need the money/Dance as if no one is looking/Love as if you have never been hurt.  Anonymous

“Your life is not a problem to be solved, but a gift to be opened.”  Wayne Muller author of How Then Shall I Live.

“There is no cure for birth or death save to enjoy the interval.”  George Santayana

“Patience makes lighter what sorrow may not heal.”  Horace

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Anne Lamott has written a book, “Traveling Mercies.”  In it she says that her most popular prayers are, “Help me, help me, help me” and “”Thank you,  thank you, thank you.”  Sounds like the caregivers prayer.

She also has a wonderful quote:  “All you can do is show up for someone in crisis.  Your there-ness … can be life giving, because often everyone else is in hiding.” 

Ain’t it the truth.  If you are a friend of a caregiver …. SHOW UP, the Caregiver already has!

Touch of JOY

In an interview with Paul Bradshaw, Rick Warren author of The Purpose Driven Life, said, “Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one.  The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.”

As a caregiver it is hard sometimes to see any good in the experience.  But I have learned lessons and grown during my nine years of caring.  I have developed character and patience during this tough challenge.  Rick Warren has experienced it first hand as well, as his wife has battled cancer.

What is the purpose of life?  Here is my personal answer; “The meaning of life is finding your gift.  The purpose of life is giving it away.” 

Touch of JOY

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will ot be.

The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the bgest of everything they have.

“Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.”   Anonymous internet quote

Touch of JOY

“You can’t breathe in yesterday and you can’t breathe in tomorrow. You can only breathe in the present moment.”  I read that somewhere and it is so true.  To deal with the challenge of today, we need to be present today.

Oprah Winfrey says, “Breathe.  Let go.  And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”  What a message for people everywhere and especially for caregivers and parents.  Don’t waste a minute of today.  Live it to the fullest.

“Try to take a breath five minutes ago.  Okay, that didn’t work.  Try to breathe five minutes from now.  That didn’t work either.  You see, we can only breathe for right now.”  That’s advice from Eugene D. Holden, in Science of the Mind. 

When you find the day too tough to deal with, stop, close your eyes, and take in a deep breath.  Do it right now.  Wow, instant stress relief. 

Touch of Joy Golliver

My husband has the greatest Care Parner, Kathy!  As a gift I gave her a T shirt with the folloowing message on it.  The message says everything that is in my heart and describes her to a “T”. 

“SHE WITH HEALING HANDS”

“The heaing arts are so much more than needles, thermometers, scalpels, and drugs.  It’s the touch of her hand … the tone of her voice… the silent prayers she says over each patient.  In their most vulnerable hour she is there.  Anyone who’s ever been there knows that all the medicine in the world is no match for the touch of her healing hands.  Copyright by Suzy Toronto, www.suzytoronto.com 

Click on Suzy’s website and buy a T-shirt for someone you know is a caregiver.  It will mean more than you will ever know.

Touch of JOY

Did you see Chico’s latest catalog?  In it they announced the winner of their Top Dog contest, and the winner is …. Jacqueline Pipta and Sam.  “Sam taught me to live more in the moment.  His truths:  if you are hungry, eat; if your are bored, change activities; are tired, sleep; are happy, smile and wag.  When you feel love, kiss and hug; feel angry speak up; feel lethargic change acitivities.  working with him showed me when anger or fear are present, face it with courage.  And, finally a commitment to yourself and to others must be acted upon.”

These are lessons for everyone, especially caregivers.  Live in the moment, for really, that’s all there is.

Touch of JOY