God You Leave Me Breathless

God You Leave Me Breathless

February 14, 2010

Neale D Walsh-Message

            “If you know what you could become, it would leave you breathless. Or maybe you do know…and are just waiting to catch your breath.”

I do know what I can become and every once in awhile I have to STOP and catch my breath saying, “Thank you God, this trip is incredible!”

It started in May of 2008 at a women’s retreat in Sedona, AZ. After a heavy commitment of care giving for my husband of 54 years, I needed a break. I decided to put him in respite care and drive up to Sedona. I wanted the freedom, the comfort, and the peace of being with joyful women, nothing else just peace. God had other plans…He had called me to serve. I didn’t want this CALL, I didn’t need it and I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life talking about Alzheimer’s! However knowing God’s plan was so strong, the tears flowed down my face and I knew a choice had been made for my life’s work.

I came back to Tucson, to the reality of 24/7 care giving, and fought the strong calling for over 9months. At the same time I prayed for guidance and resources as new people flowed into my life. I kept files and journals, writing long and emotional excerpts in my journals. I kept notes on Bob’s daily needs and tried to keep my head above water with self-care.

I kept hearing “book.” I didn’t want to publish a book, I had done that. Almost immediately God showed me another way.  An expert on tips booklets came into my life. I took her class via CD’s, and then attended her seminar when she flew to Phoenix. I started a list and began thinking of what tips I had for caregivers of Alzheimer patients. I tested them on myself, and by coaching others, eventually I had a long list.

My husband’s health was failing fast. My care giving duties became difficult, emotional and physically challenging and I kept getting creative solutions I organized in folders. In January 2009 I discovered Bob was paralyzed from the waist down and he was then moved to a skilled nursing facility. This began a new phase of care giving, easier NO, in many ways harder as I lost control. Bob fell 7 times in 8 weeks.

In March the stress of it all came to a head and I had a major emotional crash. I called in my support team and they advised that I take an entire week off and heal. Before they left me with lots of hugs and love I promised to eat regularly and leave the apartment daily. After I pulled myself together the healthy feeling in my heart and stomach was SO great.  I knew I had to get to one of my neighborhood quiet places to journal. Having promised to eat I stopped at Starbucks on my way for oatmeal and a latte. I left Starbucks 3 hours later. God downloaded an entire book to me……right then and there it came to me, it was Self-Care for Caregivers.

There it was, on paper, after 10 months and I knew my life’s purpose. Knowing this felt so good, it was not about illness it was about Self Love while caring for others. I loved it & knew it was a God given purpose.

Since then I have been truly breathless as God continues to work in my life, sending resources and people into my life who continually bless me. My purpose is to capture these ideas  and experiences and take action.

I cannot begin to list here all that has happened in 2009, it has been an incredible and fascinating year. Willow Scibert, a business woman, web designer and a 3rd generation psychic came into my life. She is now my mentor, friend and partner in purpose. We meet weekly to support each other; I think I get the “better deal!”

In less than 10months I have a website, I’ve authored a downloadable book (valuable to any caregiver of a chronic illness), published a tips booklet, and I have been able to speak and coach others on Self–Care. During which I have had the opportunity to give top priority to my Bob, who is making the transition to Heaven in a content, peaceful & pain free way with my love as a compassionate care partner. Am I breathless? YES! Do I stop to catch my breath? YES!

Everyday I give thanks to God for my beautiful life!! As Louise Hay said, “This decade is going to be the best decade of my life!”

“Blessed beyond my wildest imagination, vibrant, miraculous, wonderful, marvelous.”

Touched by Joy